Lincoln Limo 1999

Reserve This RV

I should start out by saying that if you are looking for a get you from the airport, foot stuck up your rear limo then you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of the best before you, I can offer you two words "Murdered Out" or "black magic". This is the epitome of the free world. You are not dealing with an ordinary, cookie cutter Limo bi*#$s and bi*#$hachos. This was forged from sheets of cold hard American metal and a metric f@(& ton of bondo. Real Sturdy! From the day I bought this my life has never been the same. Rock out to some Metallica and get off that couch and see if you can handle this 1999 Lincoln Town Car Super stretch limo. 'Merica! So if you are looking for a late model yuppy wagon, a darn prius or even a crossover of some type keep on looking my friend...this thing is a piece of Flat Black Chalkboard Paint American bada$$ery. 'Merica! It has two AC systems but are you kidding me...REALLY!?!? If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: Windows down....what if it rains? There are powered f$&@ng windows that roll up and you guessed it.. down! Any man that plows around town in this beast doesn't give a damn about rain, snow or any other "inconveniences" because he is already wet in blood, sweat, dip spit and fish guts. 'Merica! If you are looking for the limo that needs to be pansy parked under a covered awning so the "roof doesn't leak" then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese Hybrid. Cuz... this thing has a 30 foot cover of doom that keeps any sun, rain, sleet or Hillary supporters from entering her while she's in storage. If you are thinking about special chrome bumpers for her...think again. This thing stays flat black...after all it is chalkboard paint that we painted it with....DO WHAT??? you mean to tell me that I can paint PEN15 Club all over this thing? Yes...yes I do. Then while drinking out of your leaky hose take a stab at cleaning it by simply spraying the b!%$# down. Forget about putting "I'm an American and Proud of it Sticker" on this American Classic. THERE WILL BE NO QUESTION as to your allegiance and where it stands...One limo under God Indivisible. If you think you are ready to get behind the wheel of this panty hauler make sure you warn your old lady about it because things will change. What will be happening? Glad you asked.... 1. Bad Decisions 2. You're Growing a Beard 3. Meat only diet 4. T-Rex for a Pet 5. You're taking a job at the lumber mill 6. Your car carries the banner 7. (Expletive Deleted) 8. Wire Bristled Tooth Brush 9. All Male offspring 10. Chiseled Jaw Line 11. Flesh turning to steel 12. Promotions 13. More tools in your garage 14. More dead animals in kitchen freezer 15. A fucking Limo Drivers Hat 16. Wife Stocks beer with fridge 17. Wife brings you beer from said fridge 18. Chuck Norris 19. Digging Holes 20. Red Carpets to Walmart 21. Donald J. Trump 22. Bar Fights 23. Bon fires in-spite of HOA 24. Hatred from HOA 25. Move to the country Sounds good doesn't it? This limo has carried me and my friends/family through 2 years of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie 300. And just like a trusty steed this jugger-naut has never left me stranded. If you think you've worn her out you...you tell her to crank back up and she will oblige. Must clean before returning. Must empty all garbage and empties. Gas tank must be full upon return or a fee will be charged. Each renter will have to provide temporary insurance coverage from their automobile insurance provider. You will have to contact your insurance agent and ask for temporary coverage. This is sometimes called an “Insurance binder” or “Insurance Certificate”. This simply extends renters full coverage insurance while you operate the rented limo. You will have to add me to your renters policy as a “Loss Payee” and “Additional Insured”. The renters insurance policy must be full coverage and include comprehensive, collision, and liability. Any deductibles should not exceed your security deposit. If one cannot provide insurance an insurance fee will have to be added to the rental.

Feature checklist

Size
Sleeping berths 1
Passengers 1 (seatbelts)
Length 28
Electrical And Plumbing
Fresh water capacity 0.0 gallons
Comforts
Cooking
Engine
Fuel capacity 16
Engine V8
Transmission Automatic
Model
Year 1999
Class Class C
Manufacturer Lincoln Limo
Model Lincoln Limo

Interior Features

CD Player
iPod Docking Station
TV
Seat Belts
In Dash Air Conditioning
DVD Player
AM/FM Radio